Friday, July 04, 2008

Italy's New Government: Mamma Mia!

Hello again my friends! I am sorry for my absence here on Blogiorno, but I've been on the island-nation of Madagascar shooting* lemurs. (Madagascar is in the Indian Ocean off the southeastern coast of Africa, and the only place where lemurs live in the wild. Yes, I grew up partially in Africa, so I know a few "factoids" about the continent.) Okay then, onward to our post. On this day, July 4, 2008, the 232nd anniversary of America's independence from England--we love you England, really, we do--we turn our attention to those who guide our government. Pictured here is America's president, George W. Bush, about whom I have nothing bad to say, simply because I don't care to jump on "that" bandwagon. I find it distasteful to kick someone when they are down, be it Mr. Bush or his predecessor, William Jefferson Clinton. I suspect that the average critic, if they had to run the United States for a day, would most likely end up under the oval office desk, in the fetal position, wild-eyed and drooling, clutching an official "red, white and blueberry" presidential lolly.

Okay then. Let's turn our attention to the wonderful new government of Italy. As you may know, the Prime Minister of Italia is none other than Silvio Berlusconi, the conservative who recently replaced the well-meaning, left-leaning, Romano "Il Professore" Prodi. Silvio recently swore in his new group of ministers, among whom were a veritable bevy of Italian beauties. Oh yes, Silvio is no dummy; he knows how to get things done. Pictured here are Giorgia Meloni, Maria Stella Gelmini, Mara Carfagna, and Stefania Prestigiacomo, and as you can see from the photo just below, they already have their male colleagues so lovestruck and bewildered that they could, in about 10 minutes time, slam home a measure to have that murdering Seattle-spawned monster Amanda Knox fed to a litter of baby African lions in the Colosseum. On Easter Sunday. With Pope Benedict's blessing. And a childrens' choir singing the Lion King's, "Circle of Life". Yes, such is the power of their beauty.

Of particular note is Ms. Carfagna, who has caused a mild uproar in the world press over her appointment by Berlusconi because she is A) a young 31 years old, B) beautiful, and C) a former pinup model. What the parasitic invertebrates of the press do not understand is that Silvio is a man who sees past these trivial qualities in Ms. Carfagna, and instead sees the tremendous potential for the public good which she can bring--nay, the public good which THEY can bring. He and Mara. Together. Forever. Maybe. Ahem. Anyway, in this photo, Mara Carfagna demonstrates...her commitment to...the posing by a tree...with dirt smeared on her body. See? That is true commitment my friends. At one point our pal Silvio declared in a government session that he would like to marry Mara (but really now, who wouldn't?). For some unknown reason that Blogiorno is still trying to ascertain, this did not go over well with Silvio's wife, Veronica Lario, who was so upset that she wrote a scathing letter about it to La Repubblica, one of the nation's leading newspapers. Silvio later apologized for his ill-conceived comment. You see, he is not without a heart.

So there you have it, Italy's stunning new cabinet of ministers. Che bellezza! Oh, uh, here in America, we have Hillary Clinton. And Barbara Mikulski . What a rip off. A horrific misuse of public funds in so many ways. It is such a shame we don't follow Silvio's "model" of government. It's just more interesting, don't you agree? There now, of course you do.

Okay then, Silvio and Blogiorno say, Ciao and Grazie Italia!

* photographs of