Friday, July 04, 2008

Italy's New Government: Mamma Mia!

Hello again my friends! I am sorry for my absence here on Blogiorno, but I've been on the island-nation of Madagascar shooting* lemurs. (Madagascar is in the Indian Ocean off the southeastern coast of Africa, and the only place where lemurs live in the wild. Yes, I grew up partially in Africa, so I know a few "factoids" about the continent.) Okay then, onward to our post. On this day, July 4, 2008, the 232nd anniversary of America's independence from England--we love you England, really, we do--we turn our attention to those who guide our government. Pictured here is America's president, George W. Bush, about whom I have nothing bad to say, simply because I don't care to jump on "that" bandwagon. I find it distasteful to kick someone when they are down, be it Mr. Bush or his predecessor, William Jefferson Clinton. I suspect that the average critic, if they had to run the United States for a day, would most likely end up under the oval office desk, in the fetal position, wild-eyed and drooling, clutching an official "red, white and blueberry" presidential lolly.

Okay then. Let's turn our attention to the wonderful new government of Italy. As you may know, the Prime Minister of Italia is none other than Silvio Berlusconi, the conservative who recently replaced the well-meaning, left-leaning, Romano "Il Professore" Prodi. Silvio recently swore in his new group of ministers, among whom were a veritable bevy of Italian beauties. Oh yes, Silvio is no dummy; he knows how to get things done. Pictured here are Giorgia Meloni, Maria Stella Gelmini, Mara Carfagna, and Stefania Prestigiacomo, and as you can see from the photo just below, they already have their male colleagues so lovestruck and bewildered that they could, in about 10 minutes time, slam home a measure to have that murdering Seattle-spawned monster Amanda Knox fed to a litter of baby African lions in the Colosseum. On Easter Sunday. With Pope Benedict's blessing. And a childrens' choir singing the Lion King's, "Circle of Life". Yes, such is the power of their beauty.

Of particular note is Ms. Carfagna, who has caused a mild uproar in the world press over her appointment by Berlusconi because she is A) a young 31 years old, B) beautiful, and C) a former pinup model. What the parasitic invertebrates of the press do not understand is that Silvio is a man who sees past these trivial qualities in Ms. Carfagna, and instead sees the tremendous potential for the public good which she can bring--nay, the public good which THEY can bring. He and Mara. Together. Forever. Maybe. Ahem. Anyway, in this photo, Mara Carfagna demonstrates...her commitment to...the environment...by posing by a tree...with dirt smeared on her body. See? That is true commitment my friends. At one point our pal Silvio declared in a government session that he would like to marry Mara (but really now, who wouldn't?). For some unknown reason that Blogiorno is still trying to ascertain, this did not go over well with Silvio's wife, Veronica Lario, who was so upset that she wrote a scathing letter about it to La Repubblica, one of the nation's leading newspapers. Silvio later apologized for his ill-conceived comment. You see, he is not without a heart.

So there you have it, Italy's stunning new cabinet of ministers. Che bellezza! Oh, uh, here in America, we have Hillary Clinton. And Barbara Mikulski . What a rip off. A horrific misuse of public funds in so many ways. It is such a shame we don't follow Silvio's "model" of government. It's just more interesting, don't you agree? There now, of course you do.

Okay then, Silvio and Blogiorno say, Ciao and Grazie Italia!



* photographs of

5 comments:

Travis Avila said...

i love you

dario said...

Yes, all your analisys would look really funny if it was just a story.
Unfortunately it is all true... the post-fascist drifting of Italy, in which the mafioso Berlusconi shows off his muscles (from whichever part of the body) hiring Ms. Carfagna as a Minister. Somebody whose only experience was a sexual relationship with the prime minister!!!
And the "funniest" thing is that she is the Minister of "Pari Opportunita'", i. e. the minister of the office that is supposed to work for ensuring even opportunities to everybody.

Aaron Abitia said...

I never read anything about Berlusconi and Carafagna having a sexual relationship. Is that common knowledge over in Italy?

dario said...

It is, and although i am not following the gossip because i am not interested, and even if i don't see any moral attitude against it (everybody in my opinion can have sex with anyone he/she wants), some considerations must be done.
There's nothing bad if the prime minister make sex with a minister, and if it happens that the prime minister is married, well... that's only business of the prime minister, of his wife and the girl that have sex with him.
But if somebody is put on the office of a minister IN CHANGE OF making sex with the prime minister, well... first of all there is an abuse of the powers of the prime minister, but the worst thing is that we are having a minister (Carfagna) which doesn't have the experience that the charge needs, because she was chosen not for her experience in THAT field.

Anyway, Carfagna minister of Pari Opportunita' is a symbol of the hole Italy is falling down, because if she has to make sex to obtain the office, anybody else didn't have even opportunities to obtain it. It's like Berlusconi literally saying "screw the even opportunities".

And that is the symbol of all the shit he is doing to italy since he is prime minister: now he approved a law in which the four main charge of the state (Presidente della repubblica, Presidente della Camera dei deputati, Presidente del Senato, Presidente del consiglio - this last is the Prime Minister, Berlusconi himself) cannot be processed for the whole period of their office. And Berlusconi himself is waiting to be processed for corruption.

I am sorry to tell you that Italy history is jumping back 50 years to fascism.

And, in my opinion, the main problem is that there is no strong oppositors that can compete as an alternative.
And Italians look like became all stupid not to see what is under their eyes!!!

marii said...

Italian people are so beautiful. Why can't we have beautiful people like that in our political seats. Are we becoming the UK, where the people are getting uglier and uglier....gosh I hope not. Or is it the wine, olive oil and fabulous weather that keeps those italians so fresh looking?