Monday, January 05, 2009

The Environment, America and Italia, Part One


These days it seems as though you cannot turn on the television or open a magazine without being sternly-yet-oh-so-stylishly reminded by famous skinny starlets and tattooed Hollywood hunks about the impending global doom that we face.

[Long Awkward Pause]

Ahem.

"What? What impending doom? What are they warning us about?", you ask. Are they warning us about another Hollywood strike? No, though we should be so lucky. Of what then are these filthy-rich, liquor-riddled sages speaking?

Blogiorno will tell you: They are talking about the Environment. They are warning us about Global Warming and the coming Environmental Apocalypse (tm).

Apocalypse, illustrated. Note absence of homo sapiens and Starbucks.

Yes, that's right my friends, the Apocalypse is coming, and the Hollywood braintrust are reminding us that America is to blame for this intensifying hell on earth, despite earnest efforts to stop us by the benevolent leaders of eco-friendly countries such as China, India and Russia. Yes, it is coming, they say, and there is a better than even chance that people on planet earth may soon start to melt and/or spontaneously combust, much like Indiana Jones's arch-enemy Dr. Belloq and his Nazi pals did when they were stupid enough to open the Ark of the Covenant (photo, below).

Global warming, illustrated.

Very frightening, to be sure.

But in our discussion here about the environment, let us try to lighten the mood a bit, shall we? Let us try to be positive, for that is what we do best here at Blogiorno. We are positive. Let us try to focus on something other than the fact that some of us are doomed to be reincarnated as Kingsford "Mesquite" charcoal briquets (which, by the way, give that unbeatable smoky flavor to your meats).

So, in that spirit of positive positivity, here is a question that is chock full of levity: When did environmentalism first enter American consciousness via mass media? Hmmm, interesting question. How did it come about? From one person or many? Did it have a spokesman, and if so, who was it? Well my friends, you are in luck because Blogiorno can shed some light on this subject, and, more importantly, we can show you how our beloved Italy played an important role in it all. So please, let's press on!

Back in the late 1960s and 1970s, environmentalism as we know it had its genesis, but it had a different name. It was called "Ecology". You may recall that Marvin Gaye wrote a song by that name for his groundbreaking "What's Going On" album of 1968. (Highly recommended.) Anyway, Ecology was the early movement and the forerunner of environmentalism; it even had an official symbol, which was "created" by some genius who combined the letter "e", for "environment", with the letter "o", for "organism". You may recognize "his" symbol as the character theta from the Greek alphabet. You may also recognize the term "theta" from Tom Cruise's Church of Scientology, which we won't talk about here because "The Church" is watching...always, always watching. Always.

So, the theta was the original logo for Ecology. Later in 1970, some anti-patriot desecrated the American flag by changing its colors and replacing its stars with the theta (see photo, above). Oh, isn't that lovely. Jimmy Carter must be rolling over in his grave about that one.

Now, Blogiorno realizes that for some of you, the "theta" symbol and the Ecology flag are totally new--you've never seen them before. And really, we could not blame you for that at all, as those symbols are--let's be honest--completely forgettable. Because of such weak symbolism and the obvious weak conviction behind it, environmentalism could have died right then and there if left to the cannabis blazers who were in charge of marketing, branding and heading up the movement in the 60s and 70s.

"So what," you say, "I hate the environment anyway. I actually like littering. It makes me feel powerful."

[Sigh.]

Well, to borrow a LSD-induced phrase from the 60s: "If it feels good, do it." What could possibly go wrong? After all, look how well that philosophy turned out for the Flower Children. And anyway, far be it from Blogiorno to judge you; that's what Leo Di Caprio and Cameron Diaz are here for.

Besides, we're doomed anyway, so go ahead, knock yourself out.

However, my friends, there are other serious ramifications at play here in this discussion. You see, if Ecology died back in the 1970s then this would mean that today many waning celebrity careers would be in jeopardy here in America because said celebrity opportunists would lose valuable mass-media face time. Now that is serious, my friends.

Another frightening example: If Ecology failed, then our own Albert Gore Jr.--we love you Al!--would be denied a chance to resurrect his stalled career by skillfully hijacking the environment issue, by sounding his blood-curdling scream as a warning to us all, and in doing so, burning hundreds of thousands of gallons of fossil-based fuels in his private jet, and distributing his highly-lucrative movie, "An Inconvenient Truth", to us in dangerous plastic DVD cases which seagulls fight each other over to swallow whole (photo, below).

Seagulls vying for delicious DVD case.

Thankfully my friends, fate took us in a completely different direction. Ecology didn't fail, though not because its founders charted the right course. No, in the early 1970s Ecology thrived and even became forever seared into the collective American consciousness. And it was all due to one single factor. One Italian factor. Oh yes friends, you may not know it, but Italy singlehandedly brought the environment to the collective American consciousness. And by doing so, Italia saved our environment.

"Why did Ecology survive, what was the factor," you breathlessly ask, "and what does all this have to do with Italy?!"

Well, the answer to that is positively spellbinding, but you will have to tune back in to Blogiorno for the answers, my dear ignorant friends. Trust me, it will be worth it all. And you will not have to wait long; we are merely dividing this blog entry into two parts for easy reading, because here at Blogiorno, we care about you, our faithful readers. Davvero! [Translation: "Really!" - Ed]

Besides, if this article got any longer, it would rival the length of...Al Gore's internet...or, uh...Bigfoot's tapeworm? Whatever, who cares.

Ciao for now!

2 comments:

marii said...

I am digging the new blog layout...very green!

I think that we are more environmentally conscious now, than ever before, because we realize how wasteful we are. We are just a bunch of consumers throwing trash into the landfills. We realize that the landfills are getting smaller and we are demanding more places to put this garbage.

I think we began to fear that we would soon start living on top of this trash and that the earth would be one big dump and we would have to sit on top of it. We became a society of convenience...take out, package/processed food, individually wrapped everything....it's ridiculous and wasteful. Why? All because we didn't have time to make our lunch and pack it into a reusable container? Because we don't have time to sit down to dinner and eat a good homecooked meal? Because we are lazy and want everyone to do everything for us and make life easier by putting crap in small microwavable containers? Damn us selfish american consumers!! What have we turned into!

Or is everyone just one some environmental bandwagon? Do they buy those reusable grocery bags only because they don't want anyone to scoff at them when they are checking out at the grocery store?

Who knows?? But I am really interested in hearing how Italy opened up our eyes!! Hurry up post!!!

Aaron Abitia said...

I had the sequel all written, but then couldn't get it published because I had done all sorts of tweaks to the code...now I gotta figure out what's wrong with it, and it's a long one to go through.

I think that the environment is a worthwhile issue, but I also think that the concept of "groupthink" is at play too, where everyone just follows the pack. No harm can be done by that, of course, but the problem is that once it goes out of vogue, so people start to drop off the back of the pack.

But I agree with what you're saying about our laziness and a society of convenience...that permeates all of America, really, in so many facets. I always say that if Americans had to kill the meat they eat, we'd be mostly vegetarian; likewise, if we had to dispose of our own trash, there'd be a whole lot less of it. That's the problem...we have it so good and want other people to do the work for us. Sad.